bikingbeaner

One, Two, Three

2008-06-02T17:09:00.000-07:00

...In that order for racing #'s on Memorial Day Weekend.

Random Items from Walburg

2008-02-23T17:01:00.000-08:00

-iDiego and the killer evidently aren't metrosexual enough for shopping. they disrupted my experience so much, I actually came out of my favorite store empty handed.

-crOzzy and I got to see a full set of solid B Cups. she parked right in our line of sight of the race, 10 feet away, and proceeded to change without a care in the world. nice end to the day after getting stuffed in the hurt locker.

-while trying to take an after-race nap, the neighbors in room 254 decided they didn't want that to happen, so they proceeded to knock "out a session". it was nasty, so nasty that they made our headboard crooked.

-a cycling official knocked a rider with his motorcycle to get him to the back.

-someone describing an overzealous official's mouth as a "c0ckholster". never heard that one before.

-West describing the Bluetooth Earpiece as and "Ear Canoe".

Espana No Mas

2008-02-14T16:21:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna try this again and keep up with Veggie

So my trip to Spain looks like it is not going to happen, the guy running the thing has yet to reply to RP. My passport has been in limbo anyhow, so it might be a blessing in disguise. Other than supporting Wohlrabe, I need some motivation because the kid is sick and doesn't really need me to help him. I love my bikes, riding with my friends, but I have no ambition to train for racing. I've been in a funk longer than ever before, and I may need an INTERVENTION.

SA TOO SERIOUS ABOUT THE SPURS?

2007-02-27T20:17:00.000-08:00

- Why do people in SA refer to the Spurs as if they are on the team by using the word "WE". Like "WE won by 15. WE have 3 rings. WE have the best record after the All-Star break". Who the hell put you on the team? If you are on the team, why are you 5'5" and 250 el bees?

-I'm at the Spurs game against the Raptors last night, trying to get back to our seats. There is 4 minutes, and a 65+ lady looks up at me and shakes her head for interrupting the game. She says "where could you possibly be sitting". I apologized to her for being so rude during a game that was so tight and exciting. The Spurs were up by 25.

-Donny O bought some dope Addidas Shell Toes. Well, I thought they were until I saw the back of them.

Seperated at Birth

2007-02-22T19:00:00.002-08:00

Smoking while Pumping

2007-01-31T07:40:00.000-08:00

What the hell is it with dumb ass people smoking at a gas station? I've witnessed this again and again, but yesterday some idiot took the cake. This dude gets out of his Lexus and puts his Stunner shades on, lights up a cig, and begins to pump gas! This was right next to me, so you know that I can't let it go:

BikingBeaner: "Umm, looks like you are smoking at the wrong time!"
Cool Guy: "Mind your own business."
BikingBeaner: "I am. I don't care if you kill yourself, just don't drag me with you."

He then does another stupid thing and tosses the cigarette without putting it out. It starts rolling towards another pump so I stomp it out. When he went inside to pay, I kindly returned the butt to his driver's seat.

Rest In Peace!

2006-12-26T16:57:00.000-08:00

Shoot! My bad luck continues.
So I've been stretching and decide I want to try and ride for one hour. I get all brave for the cold night and mount my favorite steed (steel cross bike). About a mile into it, I stand up and it feels like my front wheel snaps, so I take it to the ditch. Now my back is hurting from going all Jan Ulrich endo like. I take my light and try to figure out what happened. Wheels are true, fork is still in one piece, frame looks fine, nothing. I come home very carefully and look it over about three times, then I notice it, fugging cracked head tube. How the heck does that happen? Now I'm all bummed that my best fitting bike, that I have fallen in love with is going to Bicycle Heaven. Is there any hope of a warranty for my LeMond?

Highlights from The Local Paper

2006-11-30T00:52:00.000-08:00

Sheriff Logs from my home town:

Deputy was flagged down on the county line in reference to children throwing rocks at horses. Children's parents were notified and parents assured the problem would stop.

Deputy drove up to truck moving a mobile home without any paperwork or permit. Truck had become stuck in roadway. Deputies had to leave to assist Doña Ana deputies with vehicle crash.

Deputy and Animal Control responded in reference to a mule being transported in the back of a truck. Caller was concerned for the mule's safety.

Deputies were dispatched on a stray dog call at the 100 block of Devine but couldn't find any dogs.

Deputies were dispatched to the 800 block of Alice Marie on a 911 hang up. Resident had dialed the wrong number.

Deputies responded to No Name Lane in reference to shots fired but didn't find anyone shooting.

Deputies responded to Tulie Gate Road in reference to a loose horse.

Flavor of BEAN

2006-11-09T12:18:00.000-08:00

You know what time it is, complete with aluminum foil grill from spearmint gum.

Sorry ROF May

2006-11-06T18:34:00.000-08:00

Found another use for the Carbones. Steel bike, Campy Parts, Carbones, umm like apple pie a lo mode.

Redneck Doping?

2006-11-03T07:19:00.000-08:00

What kind of crap is this? On my way home from Houston this morning, I must have seen 5 of these and many more on the back of ATV's. They already use guns, how much more do they have to cheat?

Fugg, I'm FAT!

2006-10-24T17:05:00.000-07:00

I have a tendancy to break shit, but dayum, the HUB?

2006-10-17T17:01:00.000-07:00

The Real TO in Dallas! No one trains harder to reach their full potential than this guy. What was it..."The will to succeed is worthless without the will to prepare."

APA

2006-10-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

NEVER AGAIN!

2006-09-23T19:18:00.000-07:00

Too much for my liking. I've got an issue of paying attention to what is going on in the race rather than writing down numbers. My ADHD got the better of me, thank goodness there were 3 others.

Beaner in Training!

2006-09-13T19:34:00.000-07:00

A Mesican is riding around Kings Ridge in Plano near the big houses by Austin Ranch and he's stopping at every house. His son that is in the truck with him is wondering what they are looking for. He looks at his dad puzzled. Recognizing that his son is a little confused, he finally stops in front of a big castle like house on Clear Well Lane. He looks proud to his son, and says "One day son, one day.......you will cut this lawn!"

2006-09-11T19:38:00.000-07:00

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." Nothing will stand in the way of my goals. Already at 185 and 19% tonight!

Thanks to Heinous for the nice ride in the Olmos Park Swamp.

Week 1

2006-09-04T18:13:00.000-07:00

I have the Jan Ullrich disease with a tendency to balloon over 200 in the winter. It's my goal to be 170 by January 1st, and come out swinging for '07 so I'm challenging myself. I had just hit my low weight for the year at 183 a month ago, and then I started hitting it hard to get back to 191. I might just buy a skinsuit as a financial incentive. Here's the deal:

No Beer
No Ice Cream
No Cake
No Pastries
No Cokes
Shake substituted for Lunch 5 days a week.
Ride 4 times a week, Gym at least 3.

Weight: 191 lbs
Waist: 36inches
Body Fat: 22%

Weight loss target for September 18 is 7 lbs

Beaner Fit Club Coming Soon!

2006-09-03T07:25:00.000-07:00

It's my attempt at matching the Celebrity Fit Club from VH1. I'm gonna document it in two week intervals with pictures! Rated X for Xtra Large. Attached is my week one picture.

Lance is a PUSSY!

2006-08-30T21:37:00.001-07:00

A biking beaner got the better of who Lance couldn't. Regardless, cyclist fighting is ghey as hell.


Video From www.Funny4.Net

A Young Brad Thomson (G$)

2006-08-13T10:19:00.000-07:00

Since school is starting, I thought I'd put a pic up of Glen's 1st day in the 4th grade.

Royse City TT - 1st, 2nd

2006-08-11T20:07:00.000-07:00

Yeah, and Troy didn't crash. Nice run to Byrdie, T-Roy, and Gary.

As the Texas Peloton Turns

2006-07-12T13:58:00.000-07:00

What the hell is going on with all the drama in the world of amatuer cycling in Tejas? CD lost a rider, Rogut is a jerk, big deal, none of that's new. Remember folks to put it in perspective..."WE ARE DOING THE EQUIVALENT OF PLAYING CHURCH LEAGUE SOFTBALL."

Having said that, we'd be honored to have the asian back on our squad to diversify our mix more from the 40 something white guy.

The Best Part of Memorial Day Weekend

2006-06-02T20:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my friend Steve Stewart for capturing this shot.

Ass Less Chaps?

2006-06-01T20:57:00.000-07:00

So the Kane and his stache' made an observation the other day that had me thinking. He was ridiculing me on how I'm fat, but my legs are so skinny and I don't have any ass. So does this mean if I had padunkadunk like CockNeck and calves like Jordan, I'd be skinny? Les, the word that you are looking for is "Thack", where my thighs go straigh to my back.

Why those Socks?

2006-05-31T06:03:00.000-07:00

I always get tons of questions regarding my socks because I like to rock them high. Here's the story.

The History- While racing in SA about 4 years ago, I noticed this skinny dude named Steven Wheeler rocking some ultra high black socks. I really liked them and decided to give them a try. They actually made me feel a little better about myself because they covered my CANKLES and I wasn't hearing any more crap about them from G$, but about the socks. Being that my inseam is 29" and I'm 5'11", they always looked higher than what I thought, so people look at me a little odd.

The Progression- During the Tour de France a couple of years ago, Lance started wearing black socks that were high, and I'm not a big Lance fan, so I decided to make a change. From there, I went with the Erik Saunders choice of Capo Forma because they have the "Euro" version which I've learned from Cockneck is always a good thing.

The bottom line is that it got me some attention, and I'm big on that. You can say it's the Stache of my fashion lineup, only I can remove them if I want.

Get in line...

2006-05-21T15:37:00.000-07:00

for me to kiss your ass. Nagin was re-elected as the mayor of New Orleans. I knew I was in trouble when I heard that the Rainbow Coalition, among others, had 13 buses taking people from San Antonio to New Orleans to vote. I can only imagine how many did the same in Houston. Here are two things I just don't understand:

1- How can you re-elect someone based off his performance from his last term when the major issue in this election has been Hurricane preparedness and execution? He had his chance and failed the people miserably. In the debates, he looked like a fool because he could never answer the simple question of why he had the pump operators leave. From the Times-Picayune right after Katrina hit: "At the city level, NO mayor Ray Nagin ignored the city's official evacuation plan for hurricanes, which calls for the use of school and city-owned transit buses to evacuate the population in advance of a major storm." It's like going back to the same doctor that ignored your cancer warnings to treat it after you have begun to recover.

2- How are they allowing people to be bused in to vote in this election when more than half of them will never return to live there?

Oh well, next time I see you, just tell me where to plant my lips.

2006-05-14T21:13:00.000-07:00

Man, I wish we could roast Dubya like they did Tony Blair in the UK. Those Brits are wild with harsh up front questions in a Jerry Springer environment. They talk trash, laugh, and whistle throughout the session. I actually watched 2 hours of C-SPAN for the first time in my life.

Tip this...

2006-05-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

So I frequent the Wal-Mart of Coffee Shops since I'm on the road a lot. I'm not the football audible calling type (Non-Fat, Mocha Latte, no foam, Splenda'd, double cupped, with an extra shot, hut-hut), so I usually have a total under 2 Bucks. Well the other day in Slidell, Louisiana, an over pierced, multi hair colored, college dropout looks directly at me and asked if I was going to tip her. I was like "Que?" She continued "I think you should tip me because I don't make a whole lot and we work hard here." Well besides catering to the local legal drug addicts, I can't equate what she was doing to hard work. I felt like telling her "Look puta, come lift some cleaning chemicals across the street at the HD during a reset for 8 hours, and then tell me if you deserve a tip." I bit my tongue because there were 10 people in line, and I didn't want to get ethnic on the beotch.

It really got me thinking though, what deserves a tip? How can someone pouring coffee get a buck tip (tax free I might add), but the dude lifting a 70 lb box in your car at HD never gets offered a penny? Inequities....

(not) Seperated at Birth?

2006-04-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

Hey, they are all Asian that could have been originally quadruplets.

The Rusty Nail in crOzzy's Coffin?

2006-04-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

Finally got to room and roadtrip with the legend, hear his stories, and listen to him keep the egos down. However, the outcome may not be as desired. Let's see, I finished ahead of him by minutes in both the 1st crit, the RR, and the TT. To be completely honest, he did tons of work and drove the break to get SurfNick the W, but getting beat by a blob of brown that doesn't train can't be good for The Man.

Good times, good times, but let's hope he doesn't retire to the lake for the rest of the year.

New Orleans Mayoral Debate

2006-04-17T19:04:00.000-07:00

If Ray Nagin is the mayor for 4 more years.......
(in the famous words of ROF MAY) "I'll Kiss Your Ass."

He got railed tonight, and the way I saw it, Mitch Landrieu will be the next mayor of the "Big Easy". Most of what was debated were dumbass comments from Nagin about the Chocolate City and Uptown Folk. It was all quite comical.

Nevermind, I am a Beaner....

2006-04-16T20:25:00.000-07:00

Just as I was letting go...

My parents are in town, which means the whole SA family gets together, which includes two of my tias and there kids. Everything was going smooth and the spanglish was a minimum. No family fistfights, no polka sounding banda music, no menudo, and no cousins I haven't met before. Then I was blindsided. Everyone agreed to play volleyball and I was down, so I went outside and started looking for a net. My seester looks at me and said "No yuppy, it's the string between the trees." That's right, a freaking clothesline string with two eyehooks about 7' high.

TDE, losing my Brown?

2006-04-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

So two of the I-35 Beaners headed West to El Paso for some new faces and D3 competition, myself and Leo. For the most part, we got our asses kicked, but I realized that we may both be moving away from Beanerism. Here's some observations:

-White S/O's. Leo's even has freckles.

-My espanol is minimol. His is sucking. George Lopez says Beaner's are only 2 Corona's away from messing up Ingles, but I drank 6 Shiners and was still rolling strong.

-I had no understanding why the protesters were waving Mexican flags in order to support staying in America.

-I refused to cheat although it is supposed to be instinct. After being sent in the wrong direction while chasing the break, we were offered up a restart with the pack and given a shortcut with fresh legs to the Start/Finish although most of us were several minutes behind. I was shocked at the offer and ethically declined stating we had been dropped pretty hard. Upon my return, I noticed 10 others waiting for the pack to come so they could restart.

Am we sellouts?

2006-04-01T21:24:00.000-08:00

Everyone else has one, so why not me? Kickin' this shit off Green Card Style...